Here Is Self-Acceptance & True Transformation

What is self-acceptance and how can we all cultivate it better to become more positive, to love and accept ourselves more and transform ourselves and our lives into what we want and desire with more ongoing focus and fervour is part of the coaching process.

How can we utilise the benefits of neuroplasticity and learn to have more self-acceptance behaviours and feel self-supported is part of life's learning process.

According to psychology.com the key points of self-acceptance are;

• Self-acceptance is unconditional, free of any qualification, unlike self-esteem which is an evaluation of one's worthiness.

• Self-compassion is the key prerequisite for self-acceptance.

• When attempting to cultivate self-acceptance, it's important to realize most problematic behavior is linked to common psychological defenses.

Self-acceptance and everything associated with it is extremely important and as we believe – change is possible, cultivating self-acceptance is often the key to being content in life and for healthy growth to take place.

When we speak about neuroplasticity we have to share the phrase 'Neurons that fire together wire together’ (I wish I could remember where I first saw it, but it truly sticks in your mind) and according to web searches it was first written by Donald Hebb, a Canadian neuropsychologist known for his work in the field of associative learning.

Hebb’s phrase reminds us that every experience, thought, feeling, and physical sensation triggers thousands of neurons of which form a neural network and when you repeat an experience over and over, the brain learns to trigger the same neurons each time. Thus learning, memories and the makings of our minds are created and are changing and transforming constantly and we can have a more positive affect over them than first thought. Healthy self-acceptance is key.

I first thought ‘neurons that first together wire together’ was written by Norman Doidge book who is a fascinating read and has many books on Neuroplasticity who discusses neuroplasticity in great detail claiming that we can recover from incidents, trauma and PTSD and repair parts of the brain even thought lost. More about Mr Doidge in another blog as his books are amazing.

Neuroplasticity itself is incredibly important here as it supports what we are talking about when we talk about change’ and the journey of self-acceptance and positive transformation and the brain's ability to transform itself (with the person of course) is what most therapies and coaching are all about.

Here when we talk about self-acceptance we are talking about the need for self-love, and not egotistical narcissism but a healthy self-acceptance of self, one's thinking and being. In order to have great relationships and self-confidence to live a successful life it is essential to have healthy self-acceptance which is in reality the greatest love of all.

Here we see that we can learn to re-wire the brain differently, we can learn to accept ourselves more, but we have to do something in order for this to happen and cultivating self-acceptance is a powerful way of saying to the brain that you are taking more healthy control of ourselves and our life.

In fact, any therapy, coaching or hypnotherapy session proposes that change is possible and thus by taking part in a session so too you are on a trajectory journey where it is hoped, and the aim is for positive neuroplasticity to take place.

According to wiki is

Neuroplasticity, also known as neural plasticity, or brain plasticity, is the ability of neural networks in the brain to change through growth and reorganization. It is when the brain is rewired to function in some way that differs from how it previously functioned.[1] These changes range from individual neuron pathways making new connections, to systematic adjustments like cortical remapping. Examples of neuroplasticity include circuit and network changes that result from learning a new ability, information acquisition, environmental influences, practice, and psychological stress.[2][3][4][5][6][7]

Neuroplasticity was once thought by neuroscientists to manifest only during childhood,[8][9] but research in the latter half of the 20th century showed that many aspects of the brain can be altered (or are "plastic") even through adulthood.[10]

However, the developing brain exhibits a higher degree of plasticity than the adult brain.[11] Activity-dependent plasticity can have significant implications for healthy development, learning, memory, and recovery from brain damage.[12][13][14]

Here we are referring to how we can change to gain more self-acceptance and self awareness and that transformation like neuroplasticity is possible and whilst talking about and cultivating self-acceptance I again refer to Lisa Wimberger’s book in Neuro sculpting which I use and refer back to often at RSN.

Lisa stipulates three very simple techniques which will help us to focus on the positives and in the cultivation of self-acceptance we need to think about neuroplasticity and that it is possible to change our brain and our neuron pathways but action needs to take place in order to do so.

She refers to three simple things that can be done which are here along with some of my notes;

1. Make some sticky notes to remind yourself about these at least once a day. The great thing about them is that they ca be re-used and not wasted. Today I have (today I have “this is possible, Positive change is taking place and prosperity is being built) Tomorrow might be different.

2. Put a reminder in your calendar or set your alarm to prompt you to think about three questions. (eg. How can I be more productive right now? How can I enjoy what I am doing more? What can I do to create even more prosperity than I am at this moment?

3. Make a commitment to journal about these questions each night before bedtime (it’s also important to help the brain and body synchronise better and having something positive before bedtime can be incredibly nourishing)

A ‘Discovery journal’ is so imperative for greater transformation as it helps to recall on things that occur during the day and evening, how you feel about them and then transform them along the way as the journey of life. It’s like a diary only with the greatest purpose of all – the positive transformation of you.

This self-acceptance journey is about taking action and doing so daily in ways that support our positive growth throughout the day and not just sometimes and this is about many things including;

1. Forgiving yourself – being active about specially what you need or want to forgive yourself

2. Using present moment awareness and mindfulness – guilt or remorse and frustration can often take over quite quickly so it is important to remind yourself to remain ni the present and not linger on past negatives.

3. Acknowledging and love your abilities – it is healthy to love the things about you to make you, you and it is not egotistical to think of yourself positively

4. Practicing self-compassion – give yourself a pat on the back when you do something well. Take time to enjoy the sunshine or trees, be nice to yourself even when things are difficult.

5. Stopping being so angry at yourself - it is can easy to reprimand yourself for things that happen during the day and in the words of Jack Nicolson in the movie Anger Management – ‘Goosfraaba’ or simpler still, “I am fine today and will fine tomorrow – let it go’

6. Ignoring your inner critic – stop listening to the voice that says ‘you can’t do anything’ and change it to ‘this too will pass and I can do it, I am doing it!”

7. Moving on from disappointments – it’s natural to not be able to get everything you want or for things to always go your way – things may go better next time

8. Gaining perspective on your limitations – you may not be able to do everything all the time however you can learn when it is necessary to ask for assistance or hire someone else to do certain things

9. Connecting with loved ones who appreciates you – get in touch with someone you love or who cares for you in times when you need a boost and some greater self-care, to hear their encouragement can do wonders

10. Making self-acceptance part of your daily routine – creating cultivating awareness is one of the best ways of enhancing how you feel and maintaining greater self-awareness and positivity

According to a google search recently the Whitney Houston song, The greatest love of all was written by Michael Masser and Linda Creed when Creed was filling in the lyrics of the song, she was facing one of biggest challenges in life – breast cancer.

The song is magnificent with lines such as;

“Everybody’s searching for a hero People need someone to look up to I never found anyone who fulfill my needs A lonely place to be And so I learned to depend on me”

And the greatest words of all from this song are so profound and so true,

“Learning to love yourself, is the greater love of all.”

Self-acceptance and transformation are possible but the key is to do something about it and this requires positive action on every persons part and to allow positive neuroplasticity to take shape.