We all make decisions, everyday of our lives, but some decisions and choices are more important or bigger than other ones. With some decisions we ask people for their opinion or obtain advice and for others we don't. But how can you make greater more healthier and wise choices and decisions is based?
Personally, over the years I wish that I did not rely so heavily on other people or on things staying a particular way when I made some very big and important decisions.
The key in this article is that we can obtain greater support to make better decisions and that decision-making is something that we can learn to do better.
‘How can you better live with a decision when everything feels pear shaped?'
Firstly, I believe that over the years I have made a few very important decisions based too heavily on emotions and thinking that things would not change so drastically.
It seldom occurred to me that I would feel so different about an outcome or that someone else would totally and completely change their minds and it adversely affecting my life so dramatically.
Whatever the decision you make, it's often how you handle the situation and what you do after things don't go so well and how you handle the stress that goes with it that determines the outcome and what you will do next.
Decisions I Made That Relied On Other People
Over the years I made four very distinct decisions and choices in my life thinking that things would turn out differently, but they did not and they included;
1. Moving to WA aiming to return to another state to be near my family within 10 years but I never returned for good as they moved homes
2. Selling my home with the understanding that if I ever needed to, I could borrow from my parents in the future – they changed their mind
3. Moving interstate and into a property owned by uncle – only to be kicked out and left homeless
4. Staying in a relationship that was not healthy for many years and feeling overwhelmingly lethargic and unwell
Why am I sharing my deepest and most awkward of decisions and choices with you here and now is because these situations shaped the course of my life and I could have ‘bounced back’ from these decisions faster, but I did not.
I am hoping that by sharing my decisions and choices it may help you in some profound way to choose wiser.
I also believe now that if I would have hired a Life Coach or a counsellor sooner rather than later it would have made some things easier and help me to get ahead simpler and to make better decisions and greater choices for my life.
How Decision Making Changed My Life
Over the years I did try to return to be closer to family by living on my uncle’s property only to be kicked out when he did not want to admit that he lied and my response was less than flattering. I remain now in WA.
I sold my house to pursue my dreams but before doing so asked my father if I could borrow from them if possible in the future only sadly circumstances changed and they lost a lot of money from their superannuation and I could not borrow from them.
This left me in a predicament where I had to save again for another eight years to be able to afford to buy another home and rented in the interim costing me thousands and feeling somewhat deflated. The question then remained, 'Would I have sold my home in the first place to follow a career dream', - maybe not if I knew I may end up almost homeless.
I also stayed in a long-term relationship where I got significantly sicker feeling trapped, lethargic and in hindsight it definitely affected negatively impacted my career, friendships, health, and other choices I made.
These four decisions and choices and the aftermath shaped my life distinctly. If I knew differently, and made different decisions and felt more confident, I may have taken different courses of action to help myself better recover over the years and not feel so stressed.
Making Great Decision For Your Life – Starts With A Choice
The choice to move to WA was a great decision, one of what a still happy with today. It is the aftermath of things not working out in other decisions whereby I wish I would have obtained a Life Coach sooner.
Effective decision-making is a valuable skill in any area of our lives, and especially wanted when we work for other people.
Making a well-informed decision can help you become a more productive person and also employee because it can save time and help you make better use of resources.
We have to make decisions every day and the skills to making great decisions and healthy choices are priceless and can be learnt.
Over the years in Coaching though, I have seen many people that have made so many decisions purely based on how they feel which leads to disastrous outcomes.
Choosing To Make Better Choices - Getting Support
In my life, when I was younger, I seldom wanted to share my decision-making choices with anyone, and I was also very reluctant to obtain help again over the years and it cost me quite significantly.
Though over the years there were times early on when I almost desperately wanted someone to hear my concerns and guide me differently, I wish I knew the beauty about going to see a coach and having a Life or Executive Coach earlier.
The magnificence amongst many things here is that you have someone who is totally focused on helping and supporting you and I truly wish I had a Life Coach many times during my own life and I wish I got one sooner rather than later.
A Life and Executive Coach do not have any ulterior motive or plans to deviate you from achieving your goal and are totally there to help you. They might have been able to tell me to seek first to understand the repercussions, both short and long term and, then proceed with a better decision.
A Coach can assist you from the beginning of a problem or issue to the end having obtained the results and to create an outcome that you want to succeed in and maintain one's motivation. To make better choices it is important to decide to;
Plan and set a deadline for the decision
Be assertive and confident in your choice
Ask an expert or consult others for advice
Keep the decision in perspective and avoid perfectionism
Encourage debate and argument among team members
Making The Best Choices At The Right Time
We must make decisions and choices all the time, big or small in regards to so many things which rely on our abilities to reason based on everything that has happened in our life. According to reports, some of our biggest choices in life are;
If you choose to marry and whom
Your career or work decisions
Where you choose to live
Buying a home
Having children or not
Travelling or not
How you save money
What school or university you attend
Keeping your parents or certain relationships in your life
To study – your choice of subjects, areas or topics
All of these are decisions that require greater decision making and an ability to choose whereby we need to ask ourselves an array of questions either short term or longer term to come to a decision.
The way we come to decide is quite interesting as it becomes very personal and we can decide based on emotion or logic and generally need to use both to be able to make a well-adjusted decision.
Who’s Asking The Questions - You're Making The Decision
A professional Coach is suitably trained in how to ask questions and aims to keep the client at ease during dialogue which would have done me wonders over the years as I often made big decisions based purely on emotions. But the best part about hiring a Life Coach is that you have someone there who truly and totally is there and who listens to what you are saying and will give their opinion and professional advice and ask you pertinent questions.
The Process of Asking Questions
We must make decisions every day, albeit, small or big which may or may have a greater impact on our lives than we could ever have imagined and we always have to ask ourselves questions along the way.
This is what makes life so interesting – decision making and choosing to do something or not can determine whether we have a great outcome or not.
Often it’s the small decisions over time that impact the larger decisions that will make a bigger impact on the overall timing of things just over the course of one day.
For example choosing or deciding to get up earlier each day and exercise will change not only how you feel but impact and effect your health longer time and sometimes even your motivation and energy every day.
We need to ask ourselves daily many things including, what we will eat, what we will wear or more deeper like, what kind of mood we will be in when we get to work.
How The Big Choices May Come To Affect You
Specifically, the big choices will come to affect you in greater ways and often have a longer effect in your life as;
Choosing to marry – how your choice comes to impact your feelings, choices, and decisions – if they are healthy or not may change the course of your life
Your choice of career or work – what we do determines how much money we make, where we work – the location and who we will be meeting during that time
Where you choose to live – whether you enjoy it or not and our sense of community
Buying a home – having a sense of security, shelter, responsibility
Having children or not – determining how you spend your time over your entire life, your social life and having to support their life as well as your own
Travelling or not – whether you experience a different country, or location can significantly change how we feel about yourself and the people you meet
How you save money – whether you will be able to have or attain certain things such as a home, a car, clothing, holidays, etc.
What school or university we attend – affects your friendships, your ability to get into a good university and may affect your work and salary
Keeping your parents or certain relationships – choosing what kind of relationships in your life will affect how you feel, our emotions and how much time you commit to others
Improving Your Decision-Making Skills – Sooner Rather Than Later
One of the first things you can do to start the decision-making process is to plan or make a plan which could just a few pages long or a few lines depending upon how skilled you are as your decision making skills can be improved and learnt.
Most people that I know who are successful make plan, and also have the criteria to follow to get the outcome they want. For example, if you want to expand your business you need to decide what exactly you want and what may be the outcomes – more money, more clients, more fun, more variety, better social marketing strategies, greater support, ongoing motivation etc.
You can also examine what resources and support services or people may help you and your team achieve their goal.
Other areas that will assist in the decision-making process are simple and straight forward and include to;
1. Be assertive – not aggressive
2. Ask an expert or friend – get assistance from the best sources
3. Keep it in perspective – the idea is to not feel so overwhelmed or stressed
4. Set deadlines – it is important to know when it needs to be completed
5. Limit choices – where necessary based on time, finances, locality etc.
6. Weigh your options – look at what is possible or not and whether it is realistic
7. Exercise – physical activity to help change how you feel or think
8. Get some rest – or take time out
9. Meet new friends – network, talk to someone new, go to different locations for your morning café if you have one
10. Try experiments – do something positively healthy and different which will help you to get a different outcome
11. Learn and improve – study, read, ask people questions, investigate, review
12. Take a break – self-explanatory – and be kind to yourself
13. Work through a list – list the plan itself it will help you to focus, highlight and eliminate
14. Practice – keep practicing and keep going and understand that there is no place for perfectionism in decision make or any area of life
Self-talk – Positive & Negative Choices
The words that you choose that you say to yourself internally also affect your self-talk and can make all the difference to how we feel and then what choices you make.
Simply by choosing words like; 'You can do this now', or ‘I can do this!’ 'this is possible', 'prosperity is being built' and 'I am doing this' can change how you feel in an instance allowing you to make better choices faster and better.
We all make decisions, everyday of our lives, and some decisions and choices are more important or bigger than other ones and personally I feel we all can learn and need to enhance our skills when it comes to decision making and choices.
In reality, what we do now may in effect or change how we feel today, tonight, tomorrow and possibly forever.
Taking greater action now to help or make your future better and enhance your outcomes maybe more worth the investment than you think.
For a session on making greater decisions and choices for you life call 044 777 0011.